Parish Councillor Graham Skinner & the remarkable Well yesterday.
“Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth” so the old saying goes & the meek of the tiny outlying Parish of Wellcombe are feeling quite blessed at the moment as it happens. An ancient well which has lain dormant for many years has suddenly sprung forth with an apparently endless supply of a rather fine Real Ale. Barry Trotter headed West to investigate: Wellcombe Parish Councillor & local Emu farmer Graham Skinner was walking home three Sundays ago after enjoying another fine sermon by the Rev Tom Scaffold when he passed the Ancient St Neckaches Well as he does most Sunday’s. Only that Sunday something slightly peculiar caught his eye. Something ‘Old Peculiar’ you might say. The well was overflowing, not with water as he had first thought but with Ale. Real Ale at that and what turned out to be an exceptionally tasty variety too. Graham takes up the story: “Well I can tell ee I was proper mystified I twus. At firss I thought twus a joke or summut but then I did give it a sniff and then a bit of a slurp out of me and’ and sure as uncle be a dozey barstool it twus beer. Beer! Bliddy ell I thought. Beer roight yer”. “Anyways uss got on the moby to Granfer and ee did come right up frum the top field as fass as the ol Massey would carry ee to confirm wot I did suspect and that was that it twus proper beer, no messin”. “Twus loike a miracle twus, loike a proper miracle”. It soon became apparent that if word got out about the amazing discovery then all hell could let loose. Sharp as a Fox Mr Skinner phoned the other members of the Parish Council and between them they capped the well and lay a pipeline to Mr Skinner garage before the day was out. This was followed up with a quick trip to the Porridge District Council Offices the next morning to register the perpetual rights to the Well & it’s surrounding land. The Parish council plan to market the fine brew, to be known as ‘St Neckaches New peculiar’ to local pubs and the community shop & then plough the profits straight back into the cash starved Community.
Chair of the council Sir Johnny Slugget O.B.E, M.B.E & Star said “We would like to follow the model of the Inuit tribes of North America by allowing the Community to benefit from our ill gotten gains. Our first plan is to re-roof the Village hall and then put some money into developing the kids play park and a refurbished skittle alley. After that we think we shall apply for planning permission for a wind turbine, some affordable housing & a Jacuzzi come Sauna come Swimming Pool complex for the elderly of the Parish. This fortuitous event also means that we can now also run the bars in the hall at the ‘Ye Olde Pubby’ at a 100% profit. Top Hole what!
Oh & Cheers by the way CHEERS!!!!
