No Snow Ban In Porridgeside Says Major

Snowmen & women will be safe this winter on Porridgeside.

Morris Major, Leader of Porridgeside District Council, & self confessed ’Eater Of All The Pies’, has publicly announced that his council will not surf the current politically correct wave, that breaks on the reef of bureaucratic red tape nonsense by following Cornwall County Councils lead in banning snows. Barry Trotter reports: Morris Major has bravely placed his head squarely on the “Go on…I dare you” chopping block this week by announcing that PDC will not copy the recently announced ’Cornish political madness’ as he see’s it.  As from December 2008 Cornwall will ban snow of any sort, at any altitude, any depth and any flake size, right across the county. The CCC press release says that the ban is needed in light of the racist nature of snow, with racial harmony high on the political agenda snow is now deemed to offer a mono-chromatic view of the world no longer in line with a culturally diverse nature of a modern society. Snow’s political allegiances are seen as ‘Out of step with a modern, forward thinking 21st Century society. To Councillor Major & many members of PDC this is the final straw in a world dominated by political correctness gone mad, the CCC decision has been like a “Red rag to a bliddy gert angry Bull, oh moi dear tiz an make no mistake”, added Councillor Major ” I never thought I’d live to see the day, I juss dun unnerstand it. Tiz’ mental, Proper Mental!”, “Snow is snow is snow is snow and there baint nought you can do bout’ it, Granfer always said ‘Let sleepin dogs lie’ an that do say it all I do reckon”. “We as a commoonity muss not let this lunacy cross the border, us won’t let it infect our beloved Devon”. “Them bliddy Cornish is always up to no good, trouble makers every bliddy one of um”. Local MP Geoff Pippen added “I fully support Mr major & all the members of PDC – Bah humbug”