
The exploration rig ‘Moi Fair Laydee’ moored off Fremington yesterday.
Geologists from the world renown ‘Rockfondlers Organisation’ based in Lyme Regis admit they are ’stumped’ at explaining why such large deposits of raw custard powder have been discovered beneath the Taw estuary just downstream from Little Bideford. Barry Trotter reports: Prospectors from Birds Deserts Resource Investigation Unit have been sniffing around the area for a few months recently and local residents suspicions were heightened with the arrival of the Birds exploration rig ‘Moi Fair Laydee’ last week. Porridge District Council called in the boffins from the ‘R.O’ late last week but it appears it was too late. Since then frenzied activity has been observed from the shoreline after last Friday’s apparent ’strike’ when a large plume of what appeared to be yellow dust shot forth from the rigs main tower showering prospectors & locals alike in a fine sweet tasting powder.
So excited were some Fremington residents that they broke into a nearby field, hijacked a cow and started to make pudding there and then in an old water trough. Local farmer John Deere exclaimed “Oi ain’t never seen the loikes, twoz disgraceful twoz, disgraceful behaviour, speshly after such a clatteration wot did emanate from that there monsterrossity in the river drekly afore they acosted daisy. Bliddy beggers”.
A spokesperson for Birds International Deserts was unavailable for comment although the rig manager Richard ‘Spotty Dick’ Dickinson was overheard saying he “Could’nt wait for the next bonus cheque”, exclaiming he’d be “quids in for sure”. It was just a case of “Finders Keepers” and all “Them bloody yokels could eff off”. Andrew Clanger from The UNESCO Bideford Biosphere team who appeared on the scene late Friday was “dismayed & heartbroken” at this “apparent industrial invasion”. Meanwhile the cow hijackers were asking if anyone wanted seconds.








