A new in depth study of over 2000 Euro Sceptics by the renowned Institute Democratique In Objective Thinking has discovered a causal link between English Weather & political stance. – Wayne Shortchange reports:
The study conducted over recent months has proven beyond any reasonable doubt that a significant proportion of sceptical opinions about our relationship with the near continent derive directly from a fluctuation in the ability of the sceptical body to absorb Vitamin B. Vit B is created by the body as a reaction to sunlight and pleasant thoughts.
The reduced uptake of this vital vitamin is further exacerbated by right leaning brains. (Brains in which the left lobe is significantly reduced in size by an overbearing, dominant right lobe) An affliction affecting nearly 87% of those studied.
The study went on to conclude that due to the continental glut of sunshine and general well-being Europeans were much less likely to suffer from scepticism about themselves, their Country, Currency, Economic deficit, and the fluctuating price of cheese.
The Institute Democratique In Objective Thinking have suggested that to lower the UK’s the sceptical quotient would be relatively easy simply by arranging visit to the EU’s Excess Sunshine Mountain stored just outside Bad Gluevine in Germany.
Members of the Euro Sceptic simpletons party UGIT were unavailable for comment at time of going to press.